Someone who apologizes a lot is referred to as an obsequious person. An obsequious person will apologize more than necessary.
This is often not a good thing because when you apologize too much even when you are not at fault you are perceived to be a people pleaser.
Most times, people that do these do it because they grew up believing that they are always beneath other people and they are also afraid of confrontation.
When things get bad or there is some sort of disagreement, instead of facing it or trying to resolve it, they apologize too quickly to avoid confrontation.
Generally, you can refer to someone who apologizes a lot as an apology addict or over apologizer. When you apologize too much even when it’s not necessary, it loses its value and effect.
What does it mean when someone says sorry too much?
When someone apologizes too much it means these things, it means that the person either has some level of low self-esteem, or the person is probably afraid of confrontation or conflict.
- Low self esteem
- Fear of confrontation
- Fear of conflict
Low self esteem
Not once or twice, you must have experienced someone who apologizes a lot and you have noticed something about their behavior that they usually have low self esteem.
Low self-esteem usually stems from upbringing. It means that a person usually sees himself as lower than others.
Because the person sees himself lower than others and beneath them, you will always want to play safe and not do things that will make them angry at you.
Low self-esteem causes you to have a lack of confidence about who you are and what you can do.
This can sometimes push you to be a people pleaser and scared of letting people down. If you apologize too much, it may be that you have low self-esteem.
Fear of confrontation
Fear of confrontation is also another thing that makes a person apologize too much.
This is common among those who have social anxiety, you will be scared of saying something that will hurt the other person’s feelings, or you may have the fear of saying things that others will disagree with.
When you say something that makes someone angry it could make the person want to confront you, but because you are scared of confrontation, it pushes you to apologize to prevent the person from confronting you.
When one apologizes too much it means the person is scared of confrontation.
Fear of conflict
Because you are scared of conflict or disagreement between you and someone, you will always apologize too much to prevent anything that will cause conflict between you and someone.
People like this are often seen as soft-hearted individuals that will do anything possible, even if it means apologizing too much, just to avoid conflict.
When you come across someone who apologizes too much it means the person has low self esteem, is scared of confrontation, or is scared of conflict.
What do you say to someone who says sorry too much?
When you notice that a person says sorry too much, you should know that there is something that triggers it, just like I have mentioned above, the commonest trigger is low self-esteem and fear of confrontation.
What you should say is “please don’t get offended about what I’m about to ask, why do you apologize so much?”.
When you say that you should let them speak and listen to what they have to say, oftentimes they are not even aware that they are apologizing too much.
When you draw their attention to it, it makes them realize what they are actually doing and then seek to make a change.
However, if you are familiar with the person and you are not interested in knowing why the person apologizes too much, the best thing to say is ” I appreciate your apology”.
You need to say this especially when you notice that the person is shy or has low self esteem.
Most times they do it as a result of their fear of confrontation, to make it easy for them, instead of saying “it’s okay”, which is often seen as a cliche, you can simply say “I appreciate your apology”.
This helps to calm the person’s nerves. It is also a good and calm way to accept the apology.
You should go for whichever of the responses you feel is best in that given situation, this will indeed help the person to become better and actually work on his/her low self-esteem.
Why does my child constantly apologize for everything?
Your child constantly apologizes for everything simply because he is anxious and uncertain of their abilities. Let me explain better.
When the child is Anxious
Anxiety can happen to any child who is of critical parents. Critical parents are parents that raise their children in such a way that the child starts to feel unworthy of their love.
Children like these have no confidence or are not always aware of when they are doing right or wrong.
This is usually difficult for the child because the child is 100% dependent on their parents.
Because of this, your child starts to get so anxious when something bad happens, which leads the child to apologize for literally everything even when it is not necessary.
If you notice this with your child you should try as much as you can to prevent that from happening by helping them to stop apologizing too much.
Also, try to encourage them and make them feel confident in themselves to reduce their anxiety.
When the child is uncertain about his/her ability
Oftentimes, children are not usually praised or encouraged when they do something good.
Because of this, they do not know when they are doing right or wrong.
When a child is unsure of his abilities his confidence will drop and he will always apologize at every given point in time when things go wrong and even when it is not necessary.
To help the child you should encourage him the most and make him certain of what he can do by increasing his confidence and self-esteem.
What is the sorry syndrome?
The sorry syndrome is an irresistible urge to always apologize when it is needed and even when it is not necessary, even for things that were not caused by you.
This is not really a good thing because it is a sign that you actually have low self-esteem or you have the fear of confrontation, fear of conflict, or even of what people think of you.
Most people do not usually know that they have the sorry syndrome probably because of improper upbringing and probably because they have been doing it for long without even knowing it.
Some of them figure it out mostly when someone calls their attention to it.
If you figured it out yourself or someone called your attention to it you need to start changing the habit by improving your self-esteem and becoming a more confident person that is not afraid of being confronted by others.
And not afraid of saying something that may hurt someone or someone that someone might not agree to.
When you are aware you have this sorry syndrome, you will start to take measures to stop it.
It might take you a while to completely get rid of the sorry syndrome, but as time goes on and the more you practice self-confidence, you will be more aware of when you are apologizing too much.
I have already explained at the beginning of this article that you can refer to someone who apologizes a lot as an obsequious person.
In a more general term, you can refer to someone who apologizes too much as an apology addict or over apologizer.
It is not always the right thing to keep quiet when you notice that someone is an apology addict.
If you are not sure of what to say to someone who apologizes too much you can simply try what I explained in this article as well, you can simply ask the person in a kind way why he likes apologizing too much.
It could be that the person has not even taken note of it, but because you have drawn his attention to it, he will start to make changes.
You may not know that you could have been the person who helped him get aware of the fact that he apologizes too much.
When you become aware of the fact that you apologize too much, ask yourself what causes it, you may find out it is actually low self-esteem or the fear of confrontation that causes you to apologize too often.
Work on your self-esteem, and self-confidence, and start making a conscious effort to stop apologizing too much.
You can even be accountable to a close friend who will not judge and let the person notify you each time you start to say sorry too much. This can help you change.