Betrayal is a very bad thing to happen to anyone. It is even worse when it comes from someone you are very close with. It could be a best friend, a sibling, or even a lover. There are many forms of betrayal, but a common one is the one of gossip.
Well, in this article, there are 30 comebacks you can use when you feel like your trust has been violated, and you want to retaliate. Read on to know these clap backs!
30 Comebacks For When Someone Talks About You
“Your life wouldn’t be miserable if you didn’t go talking”
Like they say, misery loves company. A miserable person always looks for who to be miserable with. And you unfortunately, are the subject of discussion for some miserable people.
Clap back at them by telling them what miserable life it is that they are living by saying; “if you did not spend this much time on talking about other people, your life(ves) would not be this miserable.”
“Even baskets do not leak the way your mouth does”
We all know that baskets have no power to retain liquids. Baskets are better than gossip because everyone knows that their ability to retain liquids is equal to zero, and do not bother themselves filling them up.
But gossips look like they can keep stuff to themselves, and are the opposite. Compare their running mouths to baskets, using this comeback.
“Must be so good to talk about someone who is bigger than you”
People who talk about other people do not know that those people are bigger than they are, because they would not stoop low to violate other people’s trust.
When you find out that someone you trusted talked shit behind your back, let them know that you are bigger than they are like this; “I didn’t know I trusted the wrong person. Must be really nice to have mingled with, and now talk about someone bigger than you could ever be.”
“Say it to my face the way you said it behind me”
If they can say bad things about you in your absence, they should be able to say it to your face. Challenging them to say it to your face, is like challenging their courage. And if they actually say it to your face, ask them why they had to waste their courage and time on being stupid.
“That’s where you belong; behind me”
Did you know that the reason people talk behind other people’s backs is because they belong behind there? Yes. Let gossip know that they belong to the position they thought was best to talk about you.
“You only talk of people you envy”
If no one envies you, they would not talk about you. And yes, there are people that envy you without your knowledge. When you find out that someone talked about you, you can call them envious, by using this comeback.
“I do not expect more from a person who is jobless”
One way to completely get on the nerves of a gossip, is to tell them how jobless they are. If they did not know they were jobless, you have just let them know. And if they knew of their joblessness before you said it, then you just reminded them that they have a bigger pain to cry about.
“Apart from being miserable, what do you do with your life?”
Another way to call a gossip miserable, is by telling them that all they can ever amount to in life, is being miserly by each day. Asking questions like, “apart from being miserable, what do you do with your life?”, Or “how does it feel like to be a loser for a day?”, would really get to them.
“Tell me you are hopeless without saying it”
When you get to know that the person you tell stuff now takes you to the table of others for judgement, you can easily laugh the matter off by saying “tell me you are hopeless without saying you are hopeless.” After that, you can cut such a person off without drama.
“That’s the closest to success you can get to”
Tell a gossip that you drip of success, and the closest they can come to being successful, is by talking about success (you).
“But if you don’t gossip, who else will?”
I mean, if it is their job to gossip, nobody else should take it from them. Everyone gets paid for their jobs. Maybe gossips get paid too. So ask them this question to remind them of their role on Earth.
“Good job, talebearer! Carry on”
Now that you have acknowledged that their role on Earth is to gossip, why don’t you applaud them for doing a good job. They did a good job, and even you who is not a gossip has heard it! “Good job, talebearer! You are doing well.”
“I’m glad you finally have been able to talk about something meaningful”
Most of the time, gossips do not say anything meaningful. They just sit and blabber about meaningless topics (that may even be meaningless to them).
So if they talk about you, do not feel bad. Take it that they have finally begun to discuss important matters, and you happen to be an important person.
“Oh, me? I have no problem with you wanting to be me”
It may be that the person talking about you wants to be like you, and since they cannot, they have resorted to gossiping about you. Look them in the eye and say, “oh, honey I have no problem with you wanting to be me, but I must say that that is an unattainable height for you.”
“Nice that you can recognize class when you see it”
When you hear stuff about yourself that you told only one person, you can clap back at people who will not stop talking about you(the one who spilled included) by telling them that you are too classy for them, and that is why they cannot stop talking about you. Use this comeback.
“There’s more to life than gossip, but would you know?”
Since all a gossip knows is to talk about irrelevant stuff, they would lack a lot of knowledge on the real matters of life. Look at such a person with disdain and say “there is actually more to life than gossip, but you wouldn’t know, now would you?”
“The walls already know your voice”
Like we always hear, the walls have ears. To make this proverbial saying sound literal and still proverbial at once, you can say, “you talk too much, so much so that the walls are accustomed to you, and already know your voice.”
“I did not know there was a leaking bag in your mouth”
An open bag would always leak out its contents. You cannot trust a leaking bag to be able to hold your precious properties. You would want your stuff to be safe, wouldn’t you? Now, if you knew that the person you trusted would give you away, would you trust such a person?
Yes, that’s life for you. If you want to sound regretful of trusting that person you can say, “I totally blame the situation on my ignorance. I did not know there was a leaking bag in your mouth, so I trusted you blindly.”
“Just keep being a vile creature”
Only a vile person would give out entrusted information to another person, or even go about gossiping anyone. Encourage such a person. Tell them to keep at being vile. It may be good for their health, who knows?
“Judas Iscariot did better at betrayal, try harder next time”
You can show someone that talked about you behind your back, that you do not really care for them by acting like their betrayal was insignificant. To do this, compare their attempt at betrayal to that of Judas Iscariot, and tell them that Judas would do it better at any time.
“Nah, I’m not impressed with this frail action. Judas Iscariot did better at this than you are now, please try harder next time.” Gives you class.
“You are giving Pharisee energy”
A Pharisee in this context is a hypocrite. Comes with a smile before you, showing off all the good sides to being associated with him or her, but stabbing you behind your back.
Now, someone who talks about you, but comes to laugh with you is a pharisee. To cut off from that person, use words like; “man, I thought I’d be around you for long, but you are giving Pharisee energy, and I don’t do hypocrites.”
“It’d be better if you were a Karen than a snake”
A Karen is understood to be a judgemental person. Most people would take offense at being judged, but you can agree with me that anger is better than the feeling of betrayal.
If someone judges you, you can straight up call such a person out, but it may take a while to find out that the person you have been trusting has been giving you away. But when you find out, do not hesitate to use this beautiful comeback.
“I understand you are trying to stay relevant”
So many people want to be relevant or important to different people, at different stages of life. But some people want to be relevant to unhealthy causes, and a gossip tries to stay relevant to their fellow gossips, by constantly talking about other people.
Challenge such a person with this comeback; “I understand you are trying to stay relevant. I mean, I would too, but to a more important cause.”
“You are messy as the shit you talk behind backs”
Someone who talks behind others and spills their secrets before other people is already really messy. Does not matter what other good traits such a person has, as long as he or she cannot be trusted with anything, that one is already a messed up individual.
Clap back at such a person like this; “not only do you not have the ability to keep shut, you are as messy as the shit you talk behind me, and you disgust me.”
“Get your life together and stop being talkative”
It could be that such a person has a distorted view of life, and is not really in his right mind, and so he or she cannot help but slander the person whose view of life is quite all right. Like a mother would warn a child, look at them sternly and say, “Chris, you really need to get your life together, and stop being talkative.”
“You are nothing but a motormouth”
Most times, incessant talkers do not know how much they talk. You need to let that motormouth know that he or she is a motormouth. Can’t have all that ability and not know who you are.
Showing your nonchalance, you can tell them this, “oh, but you are nothing, just a motormouth that needs to be quiet for some time.”
“Get a job, you talkaholic”
Another way you can call a gossip jobless, is by actually telling them to get a job. Maybe if they have a good paying job, they would cease to take out their frustrations on others.
“Maybe you should try giving a blow job with your sharp mouth”
Well, since their mouths are sharp and talented, they would probably make good blow job givers. You cannot see anyone talented at being talkative without suggesting that they take their career to the next level, which is giving blow jobs.
“I see you are good at gossip, why don’t you try venturing into the field of blow jobs?” Sweet gestures, please.
“I hope you get paid for being a scuttlebutt”
A scuttlebutt is another word for gossip. Except for contributing to noble service, it would be foolish of anyone to waste his energy on gossip. Call out such a person by asking if they get paid to talk shit behind people’s backs.
“You actually think what you say means something, that’s a pity!”
People who talk behind others think that whatever opinion they have of other people actually matters. It does not, because if it did, they would not hide to say things. Remind them of how meaningless their words are by saying, “it is a pity that you think that whatever you say means something!”
Imagine opening up to someone really close to you, and later hearing stuff you told only that person, from different people. It is nothing new that the people you love and trust can go behind you and say absolute crap. But it still somehow surprises anyone that experiences it.
In that case, you can retort with any of the above comebacks.