20 Comebacks When Someone Calls You Desperate

Being called desperate by anybody, most especially someone you truly love (like your boyfriend or girlfriend) can be very demeaning, and degrading.

To be desperate is to be in such a bad situation, that you are willing to try anything to change it. It is to want/need something so badly that you can do anything to get it.

It can be insulting when someone calls you desperate, and you shouldn’t hold back your tongue in cases like this.

Sometimes, some people call you names, and the best response can be silence; after all, silence is the best answer for a fool, but when called desperate, keeping silent can be a sign of acceptance, that you’re really desperate.

If someone calls you desperate, speak back as boldly and confidently as you can, here are some very good comebacks that you can give if called desperate;

“At Least…”

If you probably need something from someone or probably ask for a favor or anything from someone, and he/she calls you desperate, then you can say, “at least I’m not desperate enough to be like you.”

For example, if it’s someone that has had a one night with someone you can say, “at least I’m not desperate enough to fall in the arms of a guy I’ve never seen before” or any other incriminating or jestful information you have about the person.

“You Think I’m Desperate…”

Comebacks When Someone Calls You Desperate

You can as well reply by saying “oh, you think I’m desperate, who do you think my inspiration is” you can stop here, or you can pause a little for effect and say, “you” just so the person gets it plain and clear, that you’re the inspiration.

This literally means that the person is just as desperate as you are, if not more desperate. You can use this comeback, regardless of the insult, whether you’re called, bitch, idiot, or whatever you were called.

Or you can modify it to be, “I’m just learning from you, you know.” Any one of the above is very good as they still all imply the same thing.

“That Can Be Fixed, But..”

Another very good response is to say, ” that can be fixed, but I don’t think that your nasty personality can ever be fixed”. Nobody ever wants to be told this by anyone, not when this came as a comeback.

It’s a very good reply, especially if you’re actually in a desperate situation, or desperate to get something and the person took advantage of your situation to abuse you.

“I Could Have Insulted You…”

If someone calls you desperate, you can look him/her in the face and say, “I could have insulted you, but mother nature has already done such a good job, I couldn’t complete it.”

By saying this you have already said what he needed to hear and what he probably deserves. Say this and watch out for the person’s reaction. That’s when you’ll know that you have made an impact.

Funny how you’re insulting him even though you’re saying, “you could have insulted him” it’s a way of insulting the natural features of a person, such as a person’s face or shape.

“I Don’t Even Care About What You Think”

Another good response is to say, “oh! I think you have mistaken me for somebody else that gives a shit about what you think” or “excuse me! I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else that gives a shit about what you say.”

You can as well give the popular reply of, “I don’t give a damn about what you think” or “I don’t give a penny about what you think/say”.

If you want a little difference from the popular way of shutting people down. If you want to be saucier, you can say, “sorry, but I don’t care about the opinions idiots hold about me.”

You can modify it in any way to suit your taste. This reply is a good way of shutting down whatever insult anybody throws your way.

“I’m Still A Lot Better…”

Comebacks When Someone Calls You Desperate

Another very good comeback when called desperate is to reply with, “well, I’m still a lot better than what you have to look at in the mirror every day” or “I’m still ten times better than the image you see when you look at the mirror.”

Indirectly, you’re just saying, no matter how desperate I am, or how desperate you think I am, I’m still better than you.

It’s a very good comeback if you’re indeed desperate for something when he or she told you that.

“Try Harder”

One funnily good reply when someone says you’re desperate is to say, “come on, if you’re trying to insult me, you’re going to have to try harder” or “if you’re saying that to make me feel bad or low about myself, you’re going to have to try better than that.”

In a way you’re saying I don’t care what you say. It gives the impression that you have a strong amour against insults like that.

Do you know it’s painful to people who insult you when their words don’t seem to hit the core like they want it to!

This kind of response makes them feel hurt, because it’s like passing the information that either what they say is true or not, it doesn’t affect you.

So, next time someone calls you desperate, don’t look downcast and dejected, quickly give him this hot response.

“It’s The One With The Dirty Hands…”

Comebacks When Someone Calls You Desperate

The next time someone calls you desperate, say, “you know, it’s usually the ones with the dirty hands that point fingers” or, “do you know that when you point a finger at someone, you’re actually pointing three to yourself”.

These expressions just mean that he’s also guilty of whatever he’s calling you. It’s just like saying, “you’re the one who’s very desperate, it can’t be me.”

“You’re A Liar And A Hypocrite”

Another good response is to say, “one thing worse than a liar, is a liar and a hypocrite, and that’s what you are” you can remove the last part if you want, and just say, “one thing worse than a liar, is a liar and a hypocrite”. It still sends the same message that the person is a liar and a hypocrite.

This is a good response because the fact that the person is a liar means that what he said about you being desperate is not true, and being a hypocrite he is likely to be the one that is actually desperate.

“Oh No!”

One dramatic comeback is to form a sorry face and say, “oh no! She called me desperate,” then, suddenly change your expression to a lively one and say, “I’ll schedule some time to cry about it later, right now I’m busy having the fullest of my life” or “I’m busy enjoying my life to the fullest”.

It’s a very good comeback and a good way of still saying, I don’t have time to care about what you say. The later part also shows that you’re enjoying your life so you’re not desperate as the person claims.

“I’m Jealous Of Those Who Don’t Know You”

Another good comeback for someone who calls you desperate or insults you or calls you names is to say, “I’m really jealous of those who don’t know you” or “I’m jealous of those who have never met you” or “those who don’t know you are really lucky”.

It means that your life will be better without that person.

“At Least Everyone Doesn’t Call Me…”

If someone calls you desperate, you can reply by saying, “at least everyone doesn’t call me a whore behind my back” or “at least everyone has something better to say about me even behind my back” or “everyone else doesn’t think so” or “at least people don’t call me names behind my back” this response is very good for someone who is close to you like, a close friend.

“I Must Be Really Desperate For You”

Another very good response when someone calls you desperate is to reply with, “yes, I must be really desperate to go for.” This kind of response is given to your boyfriend/girlfriend or any relationship that is more than friendship.

For friendship and other kinds of non-intimate relationships, you can reply by saying, “yes, I must be really desperate to have made you my friend”

Sometimes, acceptance can also be a good way to give a comeback. This reply not only accepts that you’re desperate but also demeans the person it is being said to as it means that, if you weren’t so desperate, that person is so below your standard that you wouldn’t have accepted him on normal ground.

“I Think You Need To See A Therapist”

If someone who loves calling you names, calls you desperate, you can reply with, “I think you really need to see a therapist as fast as possible, because people say so many negative things about other people who usually have mental problems/ usually need help”.

This is a good comeback, especially to someone who is fond of calling you or other people names and speaking bad at them.

“You Don’t Know Me”

Another good reply is to say, “it’s funny how those who have nothing about you have the most to say about you.” In essence, you are just telling the person “you don’t know anything about me”.

It’s a good response to someone who doesn’t really know you and you’re not close to, nevertheless, you can also say it to your close friends.

“Yeah, Desperately Want…”

Another good comeback if someone says you’re desperate is to say, “yes, I desperately want you out of my life.” Or, if you don’t want to be too harsh, you can say, “I desperately want you out of my sight” or “I desperately need you to get out of my house”.

You can substitute with any other words that show you just want him/her to GET OUT!

“Did You Overdose On Laxatives!”

Comebacks When Someone Calls You Desperate

If you’re the bookish type you’re going to love this one, you can say, “Did you overdose on laxatives, cause there’s a lot of shit coming out of your mouth”.

Laxative is a medicine or food that makes it easier for solid waste to pass through the body. It’s a drug or food used to aid bowel movement. This could be a good comeback for your classmates who would be able to easily get the underlying humor.

“Are You Talking To Me?”

Although it might sound less appealing to the ear, it’s a very painful comeback, the way you say it also matters.

When called desperate, you can pretend as if you didn’t hear what the person said for a while then say, “were you talking to me?”.

You have to say it so it looks like you didn’t him. It makes the comeback taste like cold and stale noodles.

“I Would Have Agreed With You”

Another good response is to say, “I would have agreed with you, but that would just make two liars” or “I would have loved to agree with you, but I don’t like being wrong”. The two statements imply that you are not desperate at all.

“Perfect Self-Description”

If someone calls you desperate, you can give a dramatic applause and say, “perfect self-description” or you can simply say, “you just described yourself.”

If someone says “you’re so desperate”, you can quickly reply and say, “yes, you’re so desperate”. Just saying exactly what the person said, is a good strategy for comebacks on any insult.


Desperation doesn’t sound like something good and no one means you well by calling you that. When next someone calls you that, use any of these comebacks for self-defense.

By the time you’re done answering the person, he or she might have learned a great lesson in a bitter way and will be cautious not to name-call people again. You might as well decide to ignore the person.

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