Have you ever been called salty in the past? It felt hurtful to hear, no? And it is even more hurtful when it comes from a friend, that you are “salty.”
When you are called salty, it means that you get angry over something so little; that you get angry unnecessarily. It could also mean that you are a jealous person.
This is very annoying, because it is a way of trivialising people’s feelings. In a case where you were appropriately angry as you ought to be (of course one is to be angry in some situations), it would really downplay your feelings or emotions if someone comes up to you and says you are salty.
In this article, you are going to see some comebacks that you can clap back with. Come along!
30 Comebacks For Someone Who Calls You Salty
“At least I am not bland”
When someone calls you salty, you can reply to the person that called you salty with a word like “at least I am not bland.” You have just called the person both tasteless and boring. It is up to the person to pick which comeback would hurt them the least.
Although the word “bland” has different meanings, it is not your job to specify what you mean by that. Just walk away from such a person.
“I sure do have a taste”
This is another way of telling the person that just called you salty, that they do not have a taste, or are bland. You can reply like this; “very well, I am salty but I do have a taste. I do not know about you, how’s that tastelessness?”
“I do not trivialise people’s feelings like you do”
Being called salty sometimes feels really bad, especially when you are rightfully angry as you should be. This is when someone tries to downplay your feelings, by telling you that your anger is unnecessary and totally uncalled for.
Well, let such a person know that since their job is to go about their day downplaying and trivialising people’s emotions, that you are not like them. Words like, “well, unlike you Karen, I do not derive any joy from trivialising people’s feelings,” would displace them.
“That’s because you are too small”
Well, since you have been told that your anger is unnecessary because it is over something “so small,” you should not relent to let them know that they are the “so small” reason you are salty now.
By saying words like “yes, I am salty now because you, the reason for my anger, are way too small,” you would have let them know how insignificant they and their opinions are, to you.
“Takes a salty person to know one”
Takes a mad man to know another, right? We have all at one point in our lives heard that saying. It is time to customise and utilise that saying now. When someone calls you salty, you can retaliate by calling them salty as well.
“Well, it does take a salty person to know another.” Try using it.
“I might spice things up”
When you say you might spice things up, you have questioned the fun side of the person that just called you salty. “Oh, I’m salty? That’s good, cos I might spice things up since you have found it hard to be the least interesting.”
“A better taste than bitter”
People will readily choose a salty snack over any bitter substance. Although, salty may also mean bitter, you can turn this over to the other party by quickly calling them bitter.
You can decide to use a word like; “baby, I would readily choose a salty Pringles over you cos you are bitter as hell,” or “isn’t salty a better taste than bitter? When you taste better, you can then start a banter.”
“Like your taste buds are clean enough”
This is one comeback that would instantly throw the other person off balance. You would have called them dirty by saying that their taste buds are not clean enough to taste anything.
Even dirty taste buds still have the ability to detect tastes. You can go, “like your taste buds are clean enough to know what salty is,” or “look who washed his mouth today! So your tongue is clean today?”
“You are aggravating”
In other words, they are annoying. If someone cannot stop being annoying or aggravating, then they should learn to shut their mouths and not call another person salty. The black pot cannot call the kettle black.
Tell them they are annoying, by saying “my friend, I get salty when you get annoying,” or “if you were not so aggravating, you wouldn’t have thought I was salty.”
“And you taste like faeces”
I am not sure what ass tastes like. Or, are you? Whether or not ass tastes good, your goal of using this comeback is to let the person that just called you salty know that they taste even worse.
“And you taste like human faeces, my love.” Say this with a very sweet gesture and walk away.
“And tastier than your best cooked meal”
If someone calls you salty, you should challenge their cooking prowess (that is if at all they can cook).
Some people cook atrocities in the guise of food and think they have done something. Maybe this person’s meals are always too salty, and they are now mistaking you for one of their meals.
Please use this comeback; “yes, I am salty and tastier than the best meal you ever cooked,” or “baby, do not take out the frustration on me. Your meal came out way too salty, and I’m not even as salty as it is.”
“Well, you are way too sugary for anyone”
Sugary attitude is an exaggerated sweet show that is mostly pretentious and often repugnant. People who act sugary like that are mostly pretentious, especially when they want something from other people. So, if someone calls you salty, call them pretentious and repulsive.
“At least not repulsive”
Everybody wants salt. You want salt to cook. I need salt to bake. No matter how little or how much it is, salt is wanted everywhere.
But not everybody wants a repulsive substance; in fact, if it is repulsive, then nobody wants it. This might be harsh, but comebacks are meant to be harsh. Saying something like, “I am not as repulsive as you” will send your message easily.
“That’s because you have a dry mouth”
Someone who has a dry mouth has the tendency of having this salty taste in their mouth. It is abnormal for someone to have this condition.
When someone calls you salty, it is wise if you suggest they visit a medical personnel to check if something is wrong with their oral cavity. You can use this as a comeback by saying; “yes, yes that is because you have a dry mouth. You should see a doctor for that, honey.”
“Salty is better than hypocrite”
You could be called salty for your inability to hide the fact that you were angry or resentful about something. Now, if you are angry as you should rightly be, then you owe no one any pretension or a hypocritical show of containing your emotions.
Someone calling you salty in a situation where they would have been angry if it were them, just shows how hypocritical that person is. So, you tackle them by saying you’d rather be salty than be a hypocrite.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand stupid”
One way to totally piss someone who calls you salty off, is by calling them stupid. If they were bold enough to call you salty, then they must be really stupid to think that you would take their opinion seriously.
Use words like, “oh, I’m sorry but we don’t speak stupid where I’m from,” or “I’m really sorry I can’t help you, but I don’t understand stupid.”
“I act in accordance with your intelligence”
If someone thinks you are salty, tell them that they think so, because you just acted according to their brain power.
If their brain carries them to be annoying, your actions would only reciprocate. If their brain thinks they can call you salty, your mouth should let them know that your actions towards them are only in response to their intelligence.
“Oh, I’m sorry you think I’m your mum’s meal”
Everyone thinks their mum is the best cook. At least to them alone. This is not to say that that is a lie. I think my mum’s meal is the best, too. But mums are humans too, and sometimes they may add too much of an ingredient in the food (they are still the best cooks). But now, you may have to compare your “saltiness” to someone’s mum’s meal.
“I’m sorry you think I’m your mum’s meal.”
“And yet you still want me”
Again, everyone wants salt. That person calling you salty needs salt. Make yourself important, by letting such a person know what an asset you are.
“Have you seen the dentist yet? You have an oral infection”
Oral infections may cause the mouth to be salty, due to secretion of substances in the mouth. Maybe you are not the problem, maybe that person needs to visit the dentist.
“You need some savour in your life”
Salt gives savour and flavour to things. You may act as a flavour to someone who thinks you are salty, since they have no flavour in their lives.
“I am learning from you”
Turn back the word to the person by insinuating that they are just as salty, and you are only learning from them, by using this comeback.
“Unfortunately, you are not peppery enough”
If a meal is not as peppery as it should be, the salt in it may stand out. Tell someone calling you salty that they think you are salty, because their energy does not match yours.
“Your dad will still eat me out”
“I am salty, but your dad will still eat me out like a snack.” Say this and watch the person’s expression for devastation.
“Good for you! I hear your family cannot afford salt”
It is bad to draw people’s families into a mess, but if you are really mean and want to get back at someone you’ve been planning, then you can use this to attack such a person.
“And also not a party pooper”
Here is another way to say someone is boring, just like you can say they are bland. Party poopers make parties really boring. Make use of this.
“How do you live with all that gall in your mouth?”
There are so many ways to call someone bitter. Gall is bitter. If you say someone is living with gall on their lips, that means the person only says bitter things.
Insinuate that someone is bitter when they call you salty by saying, “I know you live a bitter life, but how do you cope with all that gall in your mouth? Does it get any more bitter?”
“Try not to be a prick next time”
This is another way of telling someone who called you salty that they are annoying. In this way, you are also warning them against the future; they might annoy you again some other time, and should expect your “salty” behaviour.
“Yes, like your tears”
Have you tasted your tears before? Yes, tears are salty. If someone calls you salty, tell them they are pained because of your reaction, by telling them that they are crying.
“Aww, don’t cry so you don’t taste me in your tears.” That would do.
“Valid reason why I’m important and you’re not”
Salt is relevant to our everyday life. So when someone calls you salty, do not be quick to think that that’s all you are. You are relevant, and you must let such a person know that in all your saltiness you remain important. Let them know they are not as relevant as you are.
Being called salty is not the best thing to hear. Sometimes you may not want to retaliate (which is absolutely okay), but sometimes you just want to fight back.
We listed a handful of comebacks to use when someone calls you salty. However, if you have other comebacks, you may add them to this list for yourself.