Feeling targeted by a teacher is not a new feeling for many of us. It is one of those inevitable moments for every student, even the brightest of students were not left out of this occasional beef with teachers.
Consequently, there’s often this little urge to say something confrontational but with the mildest tone that will not get you an interview with the principal.
This little sassy feeling usually needs a bit of push and tool to get the message across and that’s where comebacks come in.
With the right set of statements and carefully selected comebacks, you can launch your little soft missile on your teacher and also restore fun to the teaching process.
In this article, I’ll be taking you on an extended list of comebacks to say to teachers, coupled with instructions on how to employ these comebacks. Keep reading to learn more!
Comebacks to be used in a discussion with the teacher
You can bring amusement and liveliness back into the classroom just by featuring a little dose of mild comebacks when speaking to your teacher.
Depending on the circumstance, each comeback in this post caters to your need and does this without putting your day in school at risk. Below is a highlight of all these comebacks.
- Teacher: Can you solve this sum?
1. Sorry, I’m allergic to numbers
I can relate to how much a lot of students what to roast their teacher, especially the math teacher who is often seen as a threat.
In my years from middle school to high school up to college, math teachers are always dreaded and the fear gets even worse when they ask you to do the math.
This comeback is a good one that you can employ to boycott doing the sums. Although the thought of using it is jerky, it can help you buy time to figure out the sum and answer it.
- Teacher: Why did you fail the exam?
2. Student: Maybe you failed to teach us well
You might get your teacher to cringe her teeth and clutch his or her fists if you put out this as a comeback to the person.
With this comeback, you’re making a substantial claim that the teacher didn’t do their job well by being unable to teach you to understand and pass the exam.
If this is not part of your plan, then you should skip this to avoid being queried in the principal’s office the following morning. However, if the claims are right then the comeback sure has a place.
- Teacher: Why do you have a straight face this early morning?
3. Student: I don’t want to be like you
This comeback is a bit funny and stereotypical, but comebacks are seldom meant to sound appealing. This one in particular is to be directed to a gay teacher.
The opposite of being gay is to be straight and the teacher asserts that you have a straight or pale face in the morning.
Your response/comeback means that you’d rather be straight (as in face and sexuality) than be like them (gay).
You might want to add a bit of a sarcastic smile to the whole setup to avoid staring speechless at the principal over character defamation.
- Teacher: What time is it?
4. Student: Time to get your own
Your teacher will be left with an awe-looking face and an open mouth in disbelief. If this comeback was voiced inside the class, be ready for an uproar among students because it is a cool way to get back a teacher that has been picking at you for a long time.
Make sure to point to your wristwatch, with a face that of Charlie Chaplin while you make this pronouncement. It adds flair and style to the comeback.
- Teacher: If you could go on a battle with Alexander the Great, where would it be?
5. Student: None at all, dude is dead already
Who wants to be bored over a question about someone who existed long before your great-grandfather ever thought of taking his first step?
If such a question doesn’t interest you, you can push it aside with a comeback like this one. Be careful not to incite any feeling that you’re unserious towards studies from your teacher
- Teacher: Were you in class yesterday?
6. Student: Physically? Yes… I’m not sure if mentally
Of a truth, being physically present in a class doesn’t mean one is also going to be mentally present. This comeback proves just that and also brings up a bit of humor in the class.
Don’t worry about looking or sounding dumb, this comeback will not put you in any of such positions only if you say it with enough humor to deduce that it is just a savage response.
- Teacher: Where’s your drawing on the ninja turtle?
7. Student: The ninja disappeared before I could get a snap of him
This comeback goes very well for students in middle school or high school because that’s pretty much where someone will be asking you to draw a ninja turtle.
It could also serve as a way to boycott an assignment given by a teacher who is always picking at you for doing just little things.
Sadly, you might want to get yourself ready for any intended punishment that’ll be meted out to you for not completing an assignment like other students.
Meanwhile, the comeback is hilarious and your teacher might even skip the punishment part to savor the laughter.
- Teacher: I need a pencil. Where did you keep them?
8. Student: I guess my dad left it in Pennsylvania
There’s a bit of a pun in this comeback. The teacher’s query on where the pen is coinciding with the state of Pennsylvania is your presumed answer.
Although the answer is wrong, it does the absolute work of putting impromptu smiles on the faces of other students and the teacher probably.
- Teacher: You’re always lost in your world. Now, tell me the answer to the last question.
9. Student: Sorry, I’m still lost in my world
Sarcasm at its peak! Voiced with the boldest of faces and minds. This comeback works just the way the teacher sets it.
In this line, you’re using the teacher’s words against him or her and the fact it came from them means that you barely stand a chance of getting scolded.
Similarly, if the teacher understands the etiquette of humor then he or she will cut you to the chase.
The place of humor in this comeback cannot be overemphasized. You’ll surely get the whole class grinning with smiles and subtle laughter.
- Teacher: Don’t act too smart. I’m 100x intelligent than you.
10. Student: But I’m 0x intelligent Sir
There’s always this teacher who thinks your smartness is void when he or she is around, So they end up picking at you at the slightest chance even when you’re not in a provocative position.
If you’re looking for the right dose of a comeback to put the teacher in his or her right place without being too sassy, then this line is your best bet.
You can choose to twist or twine it into any form or way, the purpose is to carefully downgrade the teacher without using strong or vulgar words.
- Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid should stand up (None one stands, but one student)
- Teacher: Why are you standing?
11. Student: I felt bad that you’re the only one standing
In this situation, there’s a chance you might get a soft knock on your head for being a nasty student.
I can only imagine the awkwardness on the face of the teacher when it dawns on him or her that you just played them. Not only that, but you also played them fast and cleanly.
Now you should stay humble and appreciate comebacks for existing. Without them, you might never get your swagger back on the teacher that has been a thorn in your flesh.
- Teacher: You do know you shouldn’t be dozing in my class?
12. Student: You do know I can do that well if you keep quiet?
I’d suggest you skip this comeback if you already have a bad record at school and might get suspended over further misconduct.
But if you have a clean slate, then you can risk it all and savage your way up to the elite position of the class clown.
I knew a couple of my fellow students in high school who went up the ladder to the coveted status of a clown…Lol, what a position for a student who should be celebrated as the best in class.
But it is what it is, and not everyone will be Socrates when there’s a chance to be the Joker.
- Teacher: You need to improve your grammar. It is quite bad
13. Student: I’m glad my grandpa is good
In this line of a comeback, you’re also employing the use of play on words to drive the point of sarcasm home.
At first, the teacher and even your fellow students might not understand the message of the statement from the get-go but they may get to that in the next minute or hour.
- Teacher: You’ve been absent-minded lately
14. Student: Really? I didn’t observe that. Was lost listening to you
Just a few students can boast of not ever being absent-minded in class. Even then, they might’ve been distracted in one way or another. So you won’t be the last or worse student to be blank while in class.
Therefore, when the teacher tries to poke you for being distracted, you can sarcastically point towards him or her as the reason why you’re absent-minded.
This method is effective as you will leave the teacher wondering which of their actions distracted you in the first place.
- Teacher: Why are you looking like you’re lost?
15. Student: Sorry, did I miss anything?
Asking questions is another way to present your premium comeback to your teacher. In this scenario, the teacher may want to put you in the position of looking like a lost person in class but you can correct that notion with this line of a comeback.
Random sarcastic comebacks to say to your teacher
16. You’re Doing a Great Job Teaching Us Absolutely Nothing
Sarcasm is a good tool for crafting comebacks to say to teachers. This one in particular is another clever move to floor the teacher.
With this line, you’re indirectly saying that the teacher is not teaching anything substantial to you and the other students.
With the way this comeback is presented, the sarcasm comes at the end of the statement and is subtle.
However, the end product is that you’ve succeeded to say something gravitational with fewer endearing words.
17. When Will We Start the Fun Part?
This statement is an indirect savage that means that you’ve not been enjoying that lecture or class all these while.
The comeback can come after a long stride in class probably receiving instructions in a boring subject like Math or any other science-related subject that often bores students.
You can as well use this comeback to agitate the spirit of other students who are also bored but scared to speak up.
I bet the teacher might try to incorporate a little fun part in the class so that you guys will follow through and stop complaining about the class.
18. I Don’t Want To Believe You Taught Us Nothing
What an interesting way to say that your teacher hasn’t taught you anything at all. The relationship between sarcasm and comebacks is how they come in as a soft insult and at the same time a harmful protest.
This comeback states that you don’t want to believe the teacher taught you nothing, while in actual sense you already believe he or she didn’t do justice in doing a good job.
19. I appreciate your efforts in making this very confusing
Do you have a hard time understanding the teaching formula of a particular teacher and this inefficiency is reflected in your grades? You might want to rub it in so much that their teaching is not doing the magic for you.
If that’s your goal, then you should stick this comeback around because it has the ultimate sauce to get your desired effect on the teacher.
You can opt to say this comeback when the teacher asks if anyone has questions regarding the just concluded lecture. You should also try to sound less condescending to avoid shades from the teacher.
20. You Can Do Better by Just Telling Us the Answer?
There are times when teachers annoyingly ask questions that are clearly above the students. If you ask the teacher why he or she asked students such a question, he or she will say that they expected the students to have read ahead of time.
Hence, you might get caught up in such a situation where there’s a question that defies your knowledge. You can use this question to divert the attention of the teacher.
21. I Heard You Were Very Good at Math. Does That Mean You Sucked in English?
Has your math teacher been giving you problems? You can use this line of a comeback to shove them to the side. The teacher might be good in math but there’s a chance that he or she may not be good in English.
22. This Class Is So Inspiring, It Only Moved Me to Shed Tears
Lol…that should be the foremost response or reaction from your fellow students when you say this to your teacher.
The comeback is an indirect way of saying the class is not interesting. Because, how can a class be so inspiring that it moved you to tears?
23. I’d love To Be Good at This Subject. But I Am Already Good At Eating
If you have a teacher that picks on you for being bad or average in a particular subject, you can use this comeback to make a statement about why you are not good in the subject.
Although the reason is hilarious, you should also know that comebacks intentionally bring in humor.
24. Who Else Thinks the Teacher Is Good? This Silence Means a Lot
If you’ve been looking for a way to floor a teacher who has been picking at you over little things, you can use this line to achieve your aim.
25. I’m Sorry Ma. What Language Are You Speaking Because It Sounds a Bit Shitty
Serving the right dose of a comeback even in the riskiest of moments can help relieve the tension already built up in the classroom.
This comeback is most effective if you’re looking for a way to operate a payback day for any teacher that has been picking at you.
It discredits the teacher’s speech or teaching based on not being comprehensive.
26. The Teacher’s Dressing Is So off, it Can Take the Light in This Building
If you have a teacher who dresses shabby but still has a thing about making kids uncomfortable, you can turn the table at such a person using this line of a comeback.
27. You’re Not Ugly Sir, but Why Did Your Hairline Leave You?
This comeback is one of those made from sarcastic engineering. It is a funny and indirect way of saying that the teacher is not good-looking.
The beginning of the statement makes a sharp turn or denial but is later reversed at the end of the message, by using the loss of hairline as an indication of ugliness.
28. I Have Only One Excuse for Coming Late, Unfortunately, I Forgot It Was Meant for You
I didn’t have a record of being late to school, but I had friends and foes who were habitual about this. Since punctuality is a prerequisite of a good student, it is natural for a teacher to ask about students’ lateness.
However, you can use this comeback to add humor to the interrogation process. Just bear in mind that the mental state of the teacher at that moment can either make or mar your chances of entering the class.
29. You Need to Start Getting Enough Sleep Because Chillies Are Becoming Jealous of Your Eye Color
Chilies are red-colored long bell-like pepper. They’re one of the reddish things I’ve ever seen, which makes it funny to think that someone’s eyes will be so reddish that chilies become jealous of him or her.
This expression shows how tired or stressed the teacher must’ve been probably from taking turns during nighttime to prepare for classes. As a student, you can use this humor-filled statement to encourage your teacher to take some time off and sleep well.
30. You Look Naked Without a Makeup
This comeback is specifically made for female teachers, especially the young ones who are so hooked on makeup that they look homeless any day they don’t have them on.
If one of such teachers is always on your neck, you can be a little more savage by using this comeback. Hopefully, it will come out funny and avert your chances of being punished for being too blunt with a teacher.
The humor and comic relief that are often accompanied by comebacks make it a delight to throw in one or two of them while in class.
This article presents you with an extended list of 30 comebacks to say to teachers. The first divide features comebacks to be used in conversational terms while the second phase features random comebacks to say to teachers.
I’d suggest you speak with the best of humor expression to subside any form of insult that must’ve been involved in the comebacks. This will prevent your appearance before the principal.