Do you think it is? Well, in this article, we are going to find out whether or not being called quiet is an insult.
Some people find it really insulting to be asked to be quiet. Now, it is normal for such people to feel insulted when they are called quiet. Why is this? This is because to them, being called quiet, is being called timid. They would not be intimidated, and would not want to be called timid.
However, there are other people who may take no offense to being labelled as quiet. This is because they do not belong to the school of thought in which quiet is synonymous to timid. To these people, being called quiet is the same as being called reserved.
Now, the question, “is being called quiet an insult?” is subject to subjectiveness.
What Does it Mean When People Call You Quiet?
Like you read some moments ago, the meaning to which one can read being called quiet may vary from one person to another. Some people might read the wrong meaning to it; either positive or negative meaning different from what was meant to be passed.
Now, let us look at the dictionary meaning of the word quiet, to better judge our views. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, the word quiet (as it relates to people), is the attribute of “not talking much or not talking loudly; reserved.”
Before anyone calls you quiet, that person must have taken time to observe you. This does not mean that people cannot hastily conclude that you are quiet; of course there are people like that.
Now, when someone calls you quiet, this is what they mean;
A person is said to be reserved when he or she is slow to showing emotions, or speaking mostly in a public gathering. Let us use the instance of your co-worker at the firm you work. Let us say he or she rarely talks at work, squarely minding their businesses, and only speaks when they must.
This does not mean that they do not speak at all; they do, but when they speak, it is not as dramatic as the other co-worker who attaches emotion to all that is said.
Sometimes, you are that “quiet” co-worker. The person who called you quiet could have meant that you are reserved.
Now, if you happen to be endowed with some assets that have now enriched you in some way, you may hear compliments about yourself, such as; “aw, despite her wealth, she is such a quiet woman”, or “he has everything he wants, but still stays quiet.” You are in fact, being called a modest, or humble person.
A modest person is one who is not given to bragging or boasting about achievements; one who is humble. The person who calls you quiet now, may say you are quiet out of admiration for your ability to maintain “humility” despite all that you have.
When you hear the word timid, do you think about the person who refuses to speak up, or who is afraid to stand up for themselves in fear of being ridiculed? Well, that is exactly what timidity means.
A timid person is one who is lacking in courage. Such a person may find it hard to face other people, they may find it hard to say what is on their mind. Whatever comes their way, they take in with fear.
To better illustrate this; in some movies, you may see a group of children, secluded from other children in a school setting. Now, these separated children normally happen to be the class’s goofballs.
Sometimes when someone calls you quiet, especially if you do not react to certain situations, that person might mean that you are timid.
Why People Dislike Being Called Quiet
Yes, people dislike being called quiet. You may have been rebuffed after trying to compliment someone’s ability to stay quiet or calm, and you wondered why. I mean, it was just an innocent compliment. Keep reading to know why people dislike being called quiet.
One surprising fact that you may just be finding out now is that some introverts do not like to be called quiet. Yes, everyone thinks introverts are silent, brooding people who just want to stay in bed all day. They may want to stay in bed all day, but that does not mean that they are quiet.
They are actually people whose speech might throw you off balance, people who would readily mingle and chat to other people, and who will quickly go back to their comfort. Calling these people quiet, is just like expecting them to live to the stereotype that they have already been confined to.
Some people associate shyness with being quiet. A shy person is supposedly quiet around other people, especially new people. Maybe he or she has just chosen to be quiet for their own reasons.
Now, when you call a shy person quiet, you are just judging that person from their behavior that is shown on the outside. Shy people are typically fun and all noisy around people they are comfortable with. So when you go to call a shy person quiet, you may be judging wrongly.
When you insinuate that someone is timid by calling them quiet, you might upset that person. It is really upsetting to call someone quiet when that person has chosen to overlook a situation that would have ordinarily sparked a violent reaction.
Calling someone quiet in this case, is the same as saying that such a person is weak, and cannot stand up for himself.
While it may not be harmful to tell someone to be able to stand up for himself, it is very unnecessary to call such a person quiet when he or she has chosen to ignore whatever he wants to ignore. This could even spark unwanted reactions from that person.
When you or someone else insinuates that another person is humble or modest because they do not brag about their achievements, you may be saying something really off.
And this may upset the person more when you have no close relationship with that person. It then looks like you did not expect such a person to be “modest”, and now that they are, you are surprised, impressed even, that you now give a compliment that may be unappreciated, and rebuffed.
Some people dislike being called quiet, because they may not understand what the other party means by “quiet.” Some people dislike being called quiet, because that is what people think they are, and as such, have set expectations for them to live. Some people dislike being called quiet because while it may be a compliment, it could also mean judging such a person.
How To Be Quiet And Still Be Extroverted
Unlike introverts, extroverts are known for their “loudness” and outgoing personalities. They have no problem socialising all day. However, there are extroverts who are reserved, but still fun to be around. In this section, you get to understand how to be quiet and yet extroverted.
Now, the trait of being quiet cannot be taught or learnt (at least not in one day). But there are some tips that you can keep when you are with people, and with time you can master how you associate with people. Then you can attain the goal of being quiet and also extroverted. They are;
Talk less, speak more
When you hang out with your friends, you may feel like you are on top of the world, and as such, you begin saying stuff (most times, irrelevant stuff). It is quite understandable.
But to be a reserved or quiet extrovert, you should learn to say relevant things when needed and be careful of what you say. With that, you are able to filter your words before saying them out. You will be able to control how to speak amongst other people.
Listen more than you hear
One thing about reserved people is that they listen very carefully to everything that is said to them. They hear when people speak, and listen to the message behind the words that greet their ears.
When they get the message of what is said to them, then they know whether or not such a message is to receive a response. When you listen carefully, you speak carefully as well. This would not only help you be a reserved extrovert, it may also help you in other spheres of life.
Observe the energy
Reserved people do not just listen, they observe their surroundings keenly. Now, when you are able to observe the mannerisms and expressions of the people speaking to you, you understand the message of the content they give to you, even more. Words may sound sweet and the expressions are the opposite.
Stay away from the drama
It is only on rare occasions that one who is reserved is in a place of drama. When out with people, be observant and make sure you do not start the drama. And if the drama is happening close to you, if you are affected by whatever drama is going on, be sure to handle it carefully, critically, and wisely.
There are so many meanings to being called quiet. It depends on the situation, and what you make of it.
There’s more to being reserved, as many people who are reserved have different characters. But these may help.