Reserved, private, cool, shy, introverted, unfriendly, and detached. These are all words that people use when they feel you are slow to reveal your emotions and opinions.
When people feel that there’s always more than you have said, and you’re always unwilling to divulge more information, they refer to you as reserved or quiet.
When you are called a reserved person, you aren’t being insulted rather you are being reminded of your idiosyncrasy based on the things you’ve done over time. However, it also depends on how they say it and the signals their body language gives when they say it.
What Does It Mean When Someone Calls You Reserved?
Is it really an insult?
The key to knowing if being called reserved is an insult or a compliment is to understand what being reserved is.
Being reserved means being slow to reveal emotions or opinions. A reserved person is very private, they seldom share their thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Rather than interacting with others, a reserved person would rather keep to him/herself.
Being reserved is always termed introversion but that is not always the case. A reserved person can be an extrovert or have traits of extroversion.
In most cases, when people call you a reserved person, they’re acknowledging your peculiarity. They say so because they understand the uniqueness and complexity of each human, especially as regards their reactions to situations.
When someone calls you a reserved person, they’re complimenting you. They mean that you approach issues with decorum, you possess self-control and you don’t let your feelings get the best of you–which is amazing.
Being a reserved person can be challenging because you might come off as a snub and one who cares nothing about others, you might be termed a proud person because you love your space and you tend to take your time to do some deep thinking.
They might become uncomfortable with you because they find you unwelcoming. Being called reserved and quiet can come from a negative place where they feel you are secretive and unwilling to associate with others–a major challenge tha reserved people face.
While some are reserved by nature, some other people decide to become reserved by choice. This choice is based on many things such as situations, life circumstances, past experiences with people, and all.
Some people have decided to be reserved and keep their opinions and details of their lives to themselves because they were either ridiculed, betrayed, or made jest of all.
Being ridiculed, betrayed, and neglected can cause deep emotional hurts that can ignite more complex issues such as fear, anxiety, insecurity, and bitterness which suppresses any desire to share feelings, thoughts, and opinions with others.
This goes a long way to show that people who are reserved or introverted might need help as they are battling psychological problems and are unable to share them with others.
It can be a hassle relating with a person who is reserved because they tend to be secretive, keeping their thoughts to themselves and barely speaking. However, you can get them to open up to you when you love them unreservedly, accommodate them and share your life with them regardless.
Do not try to force them to open up and become friends as that will cause them to move further away from you. The right thing to do is to show them that they can be themselves around you and be loved that way.
This will cause them to trust you and open up to you more easily because contrary to what others do–forcing them to speak up, you’ve created an atmosphere that makes them comfortable being unique.
What Are The Characteristics Of A Reserved Person?
Misconceptions abound about reserved people. They are seen as shy, introverted, scared, and unwilling to socialize. While it might be true, that’s not always the case. A reserved person has certain characteristics that make him so. Some of them are:
Calm and collected
A reserved person doesn’t lose his cool unnecessarily, rather they take time to withdraw and analyze the situation they face. Some think this is cowardice but it isn’t.
When there’s a challenge or a tricky situation, a reserved person would mostly be quiet and intuitive. When a person takes the proper time to analyze a situation before pitching in opinions of any sort, such a person is said to be reserved.
Many times this can become a challenge in their relationship with other people and it’s normal because people prefer it when you’re vocal about your feelings rather than internalizing them.
Internalizing your feelings can hurt your loved ones because they might not know when you’re hurt or unhappy with what they’ve done. They will also not know when you’re happy and excited about what they’ve done and it can be frustrating for them.
A reserved person analyzes every option there is before making a decision. Sometimes they end up unable to decide because they are stuck at weighing the pros and cons of any option they’ve got.
I find that I can be this way a lot. I spend so much time making decisions, weighing the consequences, that I never get to enjoy the options themselves. This causes me to dread decision-making most of the time.
On the other hand, because a reserved person is thoughtful, they tend to see things that are oblivious to others. They usually hold deeper beliefs and stronger perspectives than others.
In their relationship with others, they might also go the extra mile to get gifts and organize pleasant surprises for their loved ones–thanks to their thoughtfulness.
A reserved person is adept at handling challenges and issues without external influence. It gives them a sense of satisfaction to know that they handle their issues on their own.
People usually misinterpret this as pride and a lack of regard for people but it isn’t. For reserved people they feel threatened by anything that seeks to inform others about their private life.
A reserved person would rather avoid anything that causes people to know about them and so would go the extra mile to handle their issues themselves. They also dislike being indebted to people.
We all have emotional outbursts and the normal reaction is to express our emotions but for reserved people it’s a different ball game. They feel these emotions too but they hardly express it. They might be experiencing tons of pain, excitement, happiness, love, hatred, bitterness, and envy while remaining unruffled externally.
Contrary to popular beliefs, reserved people are easy going people. I once had an acquaintance who, although reserved, hardly got angry. This is how reserved people are, they hardly get into arguments, and if they do they quickly leave before the situation escalates.
Owing to their easy going nature, reserved people go out of their way to avoid people who cause trouble or bring conflicts into their life, this leads to them having few friends.
Is Being Reserved Attractive?
Different people have different things that attract them to others and being reserved is one of them. Being attractive as a reserved person depends on who it is that finds you attractive and their specifications.
While some find reserved people appealing because of their calmness and composure, some find them cold, unwelcoming, and difficult to get along with. So just like every normal person, some will find you attractive while some will not regardless of what you do.
The best thing to do is to love yourself and remain excited about your personality regardless of who finds you attractive or not.
Is Being Reserved A Weakness?
A weakness is a fault or an imperfection in a person. This is one of the many misconceptions about being reserved. Reserved people are usually calm, and they keep their opinions to themselves. This causes them to be thought weak by some and even sometimes easy prey for bullies.
Being reserved is not a weakness but like other personality types, there are imperfections associated with being reserved.
People see it as a sign of strength when you are vocal about your feelings, but that isn’t always the case. Like earlier said, regardless of your personality type, you’ll always have flaws to deal with.
Is Being Reserved A Personality Trait?
Short answer, yes.
While some are born as reserved and introverted people, some are reserved by their decision. Most reserved people are born that way, this explains the reason that despite how much people try to make reserved people less withdrawn, they simply cannot change because they’re born with it.
Just like there are people who are extroverted and vocal about their feelings at all times, that is how these reserved people love their own company and cannot bring themselves to overly express their feelings.
Why You Should Choose To Be A Reserved Person
Being a reserved person can be cool because of many reasons; people tend to know less and less about you, you become more mysterious to people around you, and you command more respect .
These are very valid reasons but you should ensure that you do not lose yourself in the quest to become reserved. Ensure you maintain your uniqueness even if you want to become reserved. Ensure you’re not under pressure from anyone to play a character you’re not comfortable with.
Choosing to be a reserved person should come from a place of deep conviction because if you don’t have a deep conviction or reason why you want to be a reserved person, you’d get frustrated easily.