I have witnessed many people being called names like ‘Dumb blonde’ in meetings, classes, parties, and hangouts. Most of the time, the person insulted sank to the level of the insulter and began to call them names in return.
Sadly, that is not a more effective way to come back at someone who tries to put you down. If someone makes a blonde joke at you, the best thing to say to them is one that makes them realize that their opinion doesn’t matter to you.
Whatever you wish to say should also show your confidence, intelligence, and less concern about the nasty remark.
The next time someone tries to make a joke of you by calling you a dumb blonde, shift the focus of the insult to their behavior, rather than on you, by using these witty, snappy, and savagery replies:
1. Calling me a dumb blonde doesn’t make you any smarter
Jeopardize their intention of making jest of you by letting them know that they only become more stupid by calling you names.
By giving this response, you are showing that the insult did not get to you as they desired (even if it did) and that you don’t care about their opinion.
2. I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish by calling me a dumb blonde, but it’s not working
The meaning behind this response is similar to the first option but what makes this one more savagery is that it outlines two messages.
First, it sends the impression that you don’t care, and then you render their effort to make you a subject of ridicule useless.
3. Here’s a tissue. You have a little bullshit on your lip
This clever and witty response helps to drive home the point that they are the dumb ones for giving such a remark.
4. I’m not a proctologist, but I can spot an a*s when I see one
Analogy and sarcasm are great ingredients for impressive comebacks whenever people insult your looks.
By giving this response, you are subjecting the person to ridicule and making the person the topic of discussion. You don’t have to give a reply that revolves around the initial element that brought up the insult.
5. Can’t you see the “f*ck you” in my smile?
Many people would say you should smile and walk away whenever someone calls you dumb. But it can be interpreted in many ways.
Maybe you are not hurt, or maybe you don’t know what to reply with. Trash all those assumptions by verbal expression about why you chose to smile – you simply do not give a dime about their opinion.
6. Well, there’s something we have in common
This is a lighthearted, and simple response to give when someone calls you a dumb blonde. But given the nature of the insult, you have to be sure that at least one out of the two applies to the person.
For example, if the person is blonde also, then you can use this. If otherwise, then you’d know only the dumb part of the insult applies to him or her.
7. I’m blonde. You’re jealous. But, I’m not dumb
Even if you run out of your amazingly fast witty responses, you can’t run out of the urge to prove the person wrong that you are not dumb. The quickest way to do that in the heat of the moment is to simply assert it but in a witty way.
8. You are much worse than people say you are.
This response is effective to make the person feel irritated for saying that to you in the first place.
After you give this response, expect the person to start rethinking what he or she has said to you. If you are going for this reply, ensure you have a deserving tone and facial expression.
9. You sound better with your mouth closed
This is a smart way to tell the person that calling you a dumb blonde is one out of the many other rubbish that they are fond of saying and they would be a better person if they had kept quiet more. It is a way of shifting the attention of the moment from you to the person.
10. Your mom thinks otherwise
The bitterness that comes when someone drags your mom into an insult is almost inevitable. If the person calls you a dumb blonde, it is very hurtful.
But let them know that it is nothing compared to what you can say to them by bringing their mom into the conversation.
11. If I agree with you, we’d both be wrong.
Giving this reply after someone has insulted you is another smart and indirect way to invalidate their opinion of you.
When you say this, you are implying that none of the things the person says about you can be relied on and it is a statement inspired by jealousy, envy, or hatred.
12. Man, it’s no surprise that everyone talks behind your back
The psychological effect of this reply is very interesting. Even though there is no concrete evidence to suggest that people talk behind the person’s back, you can still say this as a response to playing a mind game on the person.
Hearing this, the verbal bully begins to rethink his behavior and attitude.
13. Take that back
A simple response like this can settle scores between you and the person. Giving this reply is to show that you are offended by the remark without revealing that you are hurt.
You need to say this in an authoritative and exclamatory manner so that he or she would take you seriously.
14. Your dumb blonde joke is a stupid one
If you are blonde, it is almost inevitable to prevent people from commenting on your hair. So, when someone calls you a dumb blonde, you want to sound confident to suggest that you saw it coming miles away.
Let them know you’ve heard worse from better people and theirs is close to zero.
15. Excuse me, I’m not a mirror
This is a sarcastic way of telling the person that they are as dumb as who they assume you to be. By giving this response, you are intentionally pretending to imply that they’ve got the wrong person.
Even if the person is not blonde, sending them to the mirror is to make them see who the real dumb person is – themselves.
16. If I wanted to hear from an a*shole, all I had to do was to fart
Another clever thing to say to someone who calls you a dumb blonde is to imply that their remark is what someone who is dumb would say.
You are not only invalidating their perspective of you, but you are also stretching your insult whip on them just as they’ve done to you. An eye for an eye.
17. Haha, yeah well f*ck you too buddy
The “Haha” in this reply is to be expressed. It is to show that you are not bothered or concerned about the insult as opposed to what they desire you to feel by calling you a dumb blonde.
But you won’t end it there by simply laughing. You need to add that they are nothing but an envious scumbag.
18. Your a*s must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth.
The savagery and interesting thing in this response is not your choice of words, nor the meaning of the response.
What makes it savagery is that it automatically makes the person imagine the literal illustration of this response. But what you are implying with this response is that the person talks rubbish.
19. That’s it. You are never 100% correct. I’m blonde, but not dumb
The person is correct that you are blonde. But where he or she crossed the line was where he added you are dumb.
Use this inaccuracy in your favor and let them know that they are never correct in all they do, including in expressing their opinion about people.
20. You are dumber at name-calling
Just when the person thinks he or she has succeeded in making you a laughing stock, use their desire against them and put a spin on that insult to make it more about their attitude. Let them know that even though they attempt name-calling, they are worse at it.
21. You suck at compliments
Use the sarcastic pretense to sound like you interpret their remark to be a compliment on you being blonde. And then, bruise their ego by saying they suck at such compliments.
Of course, you can expect the person, in reply, to say they were not complimenting you. But it is an indication that you got them by the balls.
22. How long did it take you to come up with that, dingbat?
When you call someone a dingbat, it means the person is eccentric or simply stupid. So, instead of looking for a way to make being dumb sound like a good thing, you can take it to another level and reveal to the person how slow he or she is in thinking – even when it comes to name-calling.
23. You’ve just cleared all doubts; you are a mouth breather
The person used a derogatory term on you so there is no offense in returning the favor. By calling the person a mouth breather, you are implying that the person lacks enough intelligence that they never learned to breathe through the nostrils – a situation worse than being dumb.
24. I don’t argue with silly people like you
Let them know that the reason why you’d choose to ignore them after calling you a dumb blonde is that it is an argument of idiots and if you engage with them on it, they’d pull you down to their level and beat you with experience
25. I don’t appreciate your comment as much as I don’t give a sh*t about it.
Again, letting verbal bullies know that you don’t care about their opinion of you is a mighty stunt to pull if you want to send the impression of confidence. Also, add that you won’t tolerate that next time.
26. You are just an insecure piece of sh*t
Most of the reason why people make jokes about others’ appearance is a result of jealousy which has led to insecurity. If you sense this in the person’s aura, use it against them as a snappy comeback
27. What you just said says a lot about you than it does about me
Striking curiosity after someone throws an insult at you is another effective way to drive attention to their behavior and make it less about you.
28. Good hair story. What chapter do you shut up?
They’ve succeeded in calling you names. Let them know it is time to shut up. But this response is the best way to communicate that because it wittingly mixes humor with savagery.
29. Being blonde is loaded but I’m not a dumb one, id*ot.
There are many personalities tied to being blonde. You can be Gwyneth Paltrow’s kind of blonde (an expensive one), you can be Debbie Harry’s kind of blond (a rock’n’roll one), or even Marilyn Monroe’s kind of blonde (the sexpot one). But you are not a dumb one.
30. I won’t waste my amazingly fast wit to reply to you
Lastly, flaunt your intelligence on their face as opposed to what they think of you, and remind them it is not worth wasting on their remark. This is to show that their words do not hold water, and do not get under your skin.
You are not going to let anyone steal your day.
Having any of these responses in mind will most certainly prepare you for the next time someone tries to call you a dumb blonde or any other insult that implies you are a stupid person.
The interesting thing about these responses is that they work great for most contexts. If you use them well, any of them can be used to either shut the person down or make them rethink their insult.
It is not enough to put all these things in your head. You also need to master the art of speaking along with the right facial expression because you need to show that you are not hurt by the insult which is the basis of your confidence in the first place.
No matter what, you’re smart. And the above-mentioned response will help ring this to their dumb head the next time they try calling you a dumb blonde.
Found this article helpful? Share in the comments. Feel free to add other responses you think would make this list, too.